What really stops us from starting & why I'm done with it

Author

Jennifer Spoelma
December 22, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 11 minutes

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What if the real obstacles to writing your book have nothing to do with writing at all?

Hello friend!

Welcome to the first edition of the Creative Foresight: Write a Book series! My hope for this project is that each individual email will be incredibly helpful to other writers and creatives who want to start or build something.

The larger vision is that over time, I will build a truly comprehensive resource for people who want a “plan” or “roadmap” for bringing their own project to life.

But this won’t be your typical checklist sort of roadmap. There’s enough information out there about how to simply do the steps to reach a big goal (in this case, write a book).

It’s not a lack of information that keeps people from doing things. It’s:

  • Feeling unworthy of pursuing a big goal

  • Fear—of failure, success, or even conflict

  • Overwhelm from juggling too much at once

I’m right here in the thick of it.

I have my own laundry list of reasons not to go forward towards my goal of writing my first novel.

And it’s very convincing.

But my creative foresight shows me that I will be better for trying. For giving it my best. For risking looking like a fool.

I want the life that’s on the other side of these barriers. I want to work through them and push past them.

I don’t want to put off the things I want out of fear. I want to overcome fear!

And I believe there’s a part of you that wants that, too.

So I am creating a guide in real time that combines elements of “how-to” with the (in my opinion) more valuable “here’s how I’m doing it” pieces. I’ll share how I’m navigating all the ick that comes up along the way.

I’ve found the people I learn best from are people who are in the trenches with me. That’s my heart in this. I’m sharing my process and trusting in the inherent value of my own experience — as imperfect as it’s bound to be.

I expect that I’ll be doing some experimenting with format over time. But for now, I plan to break the newsletter up by the following sections:

  • Weekly Write-Up: A break down of how my writing habits and goals went for the week. Watch me try to build consistency and find comfort in how rarely I achieve it (but still make progress!).

  • Between the Lines: A reflection on what I’m learning about myself and creative living in the spaces between writing.

  • The Resource Shelf: Links to specific resources I leveraged that week with details about how I used them and why I loved them.

  • Poll and Prompt: Polls keep me going in this newsletter game! I love giving you a chance to respond or react. And getting those interactions from you is so life-giving in my creator journey.

The Bookmarks

Weekly Write-Up: Searching for rhythm

Rhythms — gosh I get so jealous of other creatives who talk about the rhythms that fuel their work. I have a hard time finding any rhythms in this season of my life. I have two little ones at home with me, and in my experience, this reality makes consistency impossible.

For example, I try to wake up early to get my writing done and suddenly my toddler decides to wake up an hour earlier. Or, I stay up late to finish things up and then it’s a rough night of wake ups followed by a demanding morning. I get behind on all the life work I need to do and it cuts into my already short work block.

Sometimes, I get to my desk and just stare. I tell myself there’s not enough time to make meaningful progress, so I dive into my inbox. Before I know it—poof!—it’s dinner time.

I’ve really been admiring the approach to creative work that Amie McNee and James Winestock from the Unpublished podcast teach. Which is, essentially, to create small amounts of shitty art every day.

It’s not the only way to make progress, of course. But I am craving some structure in my work blocks and think that a sense of progress would feel really rewarding to me. So I’m giving it a try!

I’ve narrowed in on 3 daily (M-F) habits that I believe will help me make progress toward my goal, and 4 weekly habits.

3 daily habits

  • Journal: Daily reflection and check-in on self-talk, well-being and listening to what it is I want to say

  • Write ≥ 500 words of my novel: I can get so easily distracted by planning and strategizing that I easily put off actually writing

  • Walk or do yoga: There is a strong correlation between my physical health and my mental well-being. This practice helps me prioritize taking care of my body

4 weekly habits

  • Send Newsletter: This newsletter provides accountability and also is building a list of potential readers of my book once it’s published

  • Art Journal: A new creative practice for me. I want an outlet to slow down and appreciate moments in this busy life

  • Creative Connection: I have not nurtured my creative/entrepreneurial network since becoming a mom. I want to be intentional about the relationships I’m building

  • Social Post: It’s been 5 years since I’ve been on Instagram! I had a short experimental stint on LinkedIn earlier this year. Ultimately, I know that to reach the most potential readers I can, social media plays a role. I just need to figure out what that looks like for me - it might take some time before I’m ready to add this in.

Here’s one thing I’m experimenting with to support my goals towards consistency for this newsletter. I know that performance pressure often derails me and keeps me from showing up (sending emails, posting online, etc.). So I decided that I would separate the action I need to do from the outcome I hope to have.

It looks like this: I plan to use my Monday work block to focus only on this newsletter. I’ll reflect on the past week and plan for the rest of the week, and write up the whole email. But here’s the catch, I won’t actually send it until the following Sunday. That way, if something comes up on Monday (as it will) I have the rest of the week to come back and finish up the newsletter.

Between the Lines: I have no idea what my capacity is

Or at least, I don’t want to acknowledge when I’m out of my capacity.

My husband and I have been talking a lot about trade-offs lately. We’re in the midst of some big decisions and transitions and the reality of trade-offs is so evident. I am able to be rational and weigh those trade-offs when it comes to things outside of myself.

But when I think about what I want to do, should do, or have to do — that idea of trade-offs is nowhere to be found. I want to do it all.

Past versions of me had a seemingly endless well of energy, grit and time. This current version of me does not.

I am recovering from burnout and yet my proclivity to do things that will lead me straight back there baffles me.

They say awareness is the first step to any change, though.

I’m paying attention and I truly do want to understand and honor my capacity in this season. I need to try things out and move around a bit until I can feel where the boundaries are.

The Resource Shelf: Borrow someone else’s head

Unpublished Podcast - Love their inclusivity of creatives and championing a “more is better” story. Everyone should create art. Get rid of gatekeepers. I went into an Unpublished vortex for a week or two and saturated myself in their message. Loved Aime’s message of self-coronation, choosing yourself first, preparing for success, and both of their approaches to productivity - focusing on longterm sustainability and consistency and avoiding burnout at all costs. Listen to this if self-doubt is your primary hang up.

A starter pack of episodes I loved:

Writing Fiction Made Easy by Savannah Gilbo - She knows how to break down a story to its components. It feels really helpful to me as I am imagining my book. It Even if I am not at the point where I am able to add and edit content based on her teaching, it gives me confidence knowing this resource exists. The when I encounter issues with my book, or am editing my shitty first draft, I’ll be able to figure out how to resolve them.

Episodes I found particularly insightful:

  • #149 5 Questions to Write Better Antagonists - Was totally not on my radar to be thinking about an antagonist in the earliest stages of writing, but it makes so much sense to have a believable plot with genuine tension.

  • #161 Scene Beats: What They Are and Why They Matter - This one was over my head for sure. I don’t have a mental map of story structure. That said, this one taught me a lot, or at least provided a lot of food for thought. It also motivated me to invest energy in learning more about story structure since I could see how the lack of it could make or break a story.

Poll & Prompt: What would help you start?

Which action do you think would help you take the first step toward starting your project?

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Journal Prompt:

What fears, beliefs, or circumstances are keeping me from starting, and how can I reframe them into opportunities for growth or learning?

To dive deeper, consider:

  • What’s the worst that could happen if I start—and how likely is it, really?

  • What small, safe step could I take today to experiment without committing to the full journey?

  • If I imagine myself having already started, what advice would my future self give me right now?

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