The myth of the perfect setup

Hey there!

This week, I had to make a visit to my pelvic floor physical therapist. Even though I’m nearly two years postpartum, my body is still not fully recovered.

I thought it was, but then I started running more to train for a 25k trail race, and my upper stomach started bulging in response.

Yikes. 😳

I walked into her office, and she lit up.

"Oh my goodness! Tell me how your membership is going?!"

I smiled, shaking my head.

"Oh, well, it’s about the same since the last time I saw you! I never grew it."

She laughed.

"Good for you for keeping it up. I canceled mine!"

We both cracked up.

A year ago, we were so sure.

The dream vs. the reality

We met because of the realities of motherhood—my body, changed by pregnancy and birth, needed support to function the way I wanted it to. And as we talked, we realized we were both in the middle of another kind of rebuilding: our businesses.

She had just launched a low-cost membership model to make pelvic health more accessible—$15 a month for guided exercises and resources. I had just opened my own membership, a higher-ticket, year-long program where members could access coaching, either in a group setting or with one-on-one support.

We were both trying to solve the same problem: How do you create more flexibility while making a meaningful impact?

We were excited. Determined. Betting on ourselves.

And now, here we were, a year later, sitting in the same room, realizing that despite all our best efforts, neither of our membership models had worked the way we thought they would.

We believed these models would allow us to scale—without realizing how much effort and work they would take to stand up and manage. Not just running the program, but marketing, selling, managing tech, handling customer experience—all in addition to the actual work of our primary businesses and family lives.

For her, the problem was churn. People weren’t getting the same results as in-person care, so they dropped off. The effort to keep them engaged wasn’t worth it. And financially, she wasn’t even breaking even.

For me, the issue was bandwidth. The emotional investment of running the membership alongside everything else—namely: caring for small children all day—was too much. It never became the self-sustaining, easy-to-scale model I had imagined.

We both learned the same lesson: Just because something works in theory doesn’t mean it works for you.

The myth of the perfect setup

If you've ever thought, Maybe I just haven’t figured out the right system yet... I feel you.

Parents, business owners, job seekers—we’re all sold this idea that the right structure, the right schedule, the right method will make it all click. That if we just tweak things enough, life will run smoothly.

But sometimes, there is no "better way"—just a hard season you have to move through.

My PT thought hiring an au pair would help. "I thought it would make life easier," she said. "But now it just feels like I’ve adopted a young adult who also needs me!"

I did the opposite—I left my job to be home full-time, thinking that would lighten the load.

It didn’t.

Turns out, there was no perfect setup. Just different versions of hard.

What if you’re not doing it wrong?

What if you’re not missing the magic formula?

What if you’re not failing to "figure it out"?

What if it’s just a hard season?

The same way a new business takes time to grow, the same way job searching is a slog before you find the right fit—motherhood, work, life—they all have seasons where the effort doesn’t match the results yet.

Questions to ask when you're stuck

If you're feeling drained, try asking yourself:

• What feels natural to do, even when it’s hard? → This is where your strengths live.

• What do you resent, even when it’s "working"? → This is where you’re fighting yourself.

• Where do you feel relief when you imagine letting go? → This is your intuition telling you something.

• If you had to rebuild from scratch tomorrow, what would you fight to keep? → This is what actually matters.

Final thoughts:

This isn’t about quitting when things get tough. It’s about recognizing when a model, a method, or even a mindset isn’t aligned with your reality.

You don’t get more freedom by forcing yourself into something that drains you.

You get it by being brutally honest about what’s worth your limited energy—and choosing accordingly.

So if you’re in a season of exhaustion, questioning, or recalibrating—good.

That’s not failure.

That’s foresight.

That’s your next chapter taking shape.

Warmly,
Jennifer

Poll, Prompt & Recap

Journal prompt: 

What is something you keep trying to force, even though it’s draining you? What would it feel like to loosen your grip?

3 Daily Habits

The baby and I were sick this past week, so very little got done!

4 Weekly Habits

Thank you for reading! I appreciate you!

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