All but impossible to be understood

Today's kindling:

• “Show, Don’t Tell” (Or So They Say)

• Why I Hate Being Misunderstood (And Maybe You Do T …

• Why We Need to Put Words to Things

• The End Goal of Writing (And Living)

• Your Turn: Do You Ever Feel This Way?

“Show, Don’t Tell” (Or So They Say)

I’ve been thinking about Ernest Hemingway a lot lately.

Partly because I’ve spent the summer near his old stomping grounds in northern Michigan—where my family’s cottage is just a walk away from the Horton Bay General Store.

Partly because his name keeps popping up on LinkedIn in the form of Hemingway Editor, the app designed to make writing more concise and correct.

It irks me.

I admire Hemingway’s writing. I studied him in college. But something about LinkedIn influencers using an app to dictate what good writing looks like makes me 😵‍💫.

Maybe it’s because I remember struggling with Hemingway’s style in college.

My professors drilled into me:
"Show, don’t tell. Let the action do the talking."

Which, in theory, is great advice. In practice? It’s hard as hell—especially when what you want to say isn’t easily shown.

Why I Hate Being Misunderstood (And Maybe You Do Too)

I think about this a lot—not just in writing, but in how I communicate, period.

I have this compulsion to over-explain—to lay out every detail, every backstory, every nuance before I even get to the point.

Maybe you do too.

Maybe you feel like you need to prove why something matters to you before people will take it seriously.

Maybe you find yourself going in circles trying to explain an idea, a decision, a feeling—only to end up more frustrated than when you started.

Maybe you just wish someone would get it without you having to say so much.

The irony?

The people who misunderstand me the most are always the same handful of people.

Which makes me wonder:

👉 Have I spent years adjusting how I communicate just to be understood by them?
👉 Have I changed the way I express myself because I don’t want to deal with their confusion or skepticism?
👉 Would I talk differently if I wasn’t trying so hard to be “clear” to the wrong audience?

Because here’s a radical thought:

Maybe some people aren’t meant to understand you.

And maybe… that’s okay.

(I know, I know—that level of psychological freedom sounds amazing. Still working on it myself.)

Why We Need to Put Words to Things

So here’s the other side of it.

Maybe my need to over-explain isn’t just about defending myself.

Maybe it’s about processing.

Because if I don’t say something out loud, write it down, or put it into words, it doesn’t feel real.

Maybe that’s why I used to carry a journal everywhere.

Before smartphones, before constant notifications—I’d pull out my notebook and write down every single thing I noticed.

Now? I don’t have time for that. 😢 

Instead, I catch myself using conversations as a substitute for journaling—talking through ideas, worries, memories just to make sure they don’t disappear.

Maybe you do this too.

Maybe you find yourself:

• Telling a long-winded story just to make sure it happened—like saying it out loud will solidify the memory

• Replaying a hard moment over and over—not because you want to dwell, but because you need to understand why it hit you so hard

• Talking through dreams, ideas, plans—because if you don’t voice them, it feels like they’ll slip away

Maybe talking things out is the only way to figure out what’s true.

Maybe over-explaining isn’t a flaw—it’s a way of listening to ourselves.

The End Goal of Writing (And Living)

I think about this a lot when it comes to writing.

Because in order to “show, don’t tell,” you have to know what you’re trying to say in the first place.

And right now? I’m still figuring it out.

I miss the luxury of time to really sit with my thoughts—to craft, refine, play with the rhythm of words.

These days, my writing is interrupted by baby wake-ups and life responsibilities.

And yet—I keep writing anyway.

Because what’s the alternative?

Silence?

Letting the moments, thoughts, and ideas slip away just because they aren’t neat or finished?

I don’t want that.

And I don’t think you do either.

Your Turn: Do You Ever Feel This Way?

I have a feeling this isn’t just me.

So tell me:

👉 Do you ever find yourself over-explaining, just to feel understood?
👉 Do you feel like certain people will never "get" you—no matter how much you try?
👉 Do you use conversations as a way to process, even when you don’t mean to?

Hit reply and let me know.

Because if this resonated with you—even just a little—you’re not alone.

And you don’t have to figure it all out in silence.

Warmly,
Jennifer

I appreciate you! ❤️ 

Warmly,
Jennifer