The desire to be seen

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What do you do to help you understand the world around you?

Hello friend!

Over the weekend, my husband and I watched A Family Affair on Netflix. Nicole Kidman plays the role of a career author. When her mother-in-law asked why she writes, she replied:

"[I write] to find out what I think about things I don't understand."

This sentiment resonates with me.

I think it’s part of why I have always been drawn to writing nonfiction. Because I wanted to identify things, communicate clearly about them and make sense to other people.

Writing fiction is a stretch for me in several ways. But what I am quickly learning is how beautiful a vehicle it is to explore things I don’t understand. Creating scenes, conflict, motivation and resolution is gratifying because it helps me to process my own experience through different lenses, perspectives and situations.

By writing, I’m starting to understand for myself the famous quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Fiction reveals truth that reality obscures.”

I’m realizing how valuable fiction is to help us process things we’re going through (whether we’re reading or writing it!).

Fiction is an exercise of perspective taking. And even if the situation and characters are fictional, the stakes often aren’t. Those are universal.

The Bookmarks

• Weekly Write-Up: First 3-check day!

  • 3 daily habits

  • 4 weekly habits

• Between the Lines: Desire to be seen

• The Resource Shelf: A character to enjoy and a fra …

• Poll & Prompt: Why do you read fiction?

Weekly Write-Up: First 3-check day!

Admittedly, I had this email prepped to send a week ago, but then with visitors in town and my son’s birthday party on Sunday, I totally forgot to send it out. So this recap is from the previous week, during which I got my first 3-check day!

3 daily habits

4 weekly habits

Between the Lines: Desire to be seen

I can’t call out specific references right now, but it seems like the theme of wanting to be seen is coming up more frequently in the media I consume. I’m surprised every time a character says this.

The desire to be seen feels very personal to me. So it almost shocks me to remember that it’s not just something in my head - it’s a universal feeling and longing others share too.

As I’m writing about my main character, I’m looking at her strengths and flaws and all of the human moments. I just love her for all of it. I see her. I love her.

And then I have this really weird jealousy that crops up because I want to feel like someone sees me in an omniscient way and loves me for all of it, too.

Writing that, I see that is what God does.

I’ll need to process that this week in my journal. At first glance, I would say that I used to feel that love and presence from God. I felt seen and called, loved and empowered. Whole.

Why would someone who felt all of that ever walk away from it?

The Resource Shelf: A character to enjoy and a framework

• Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder: Nightbitch is my current favorite book. If you have read it and enjoyed it, please let me know! You are my ideal reader. If you haven’t read it and aren’t in the mood to start a new book, I’m thrilled to let you know that you can watch the movie on Hulu. Of course, a book and movie rendition are hard to compare. I loved both but the book was so fun to read. It captures the tension of a woman who loves motherhood and yet wants to give life to another part of herself so well.

• The Four Core Framework by Shawn Coyne: I haven’t finished this book yet, but it has already been such a helpful resource to understand what makes a story work. Shawn Coyne founded Story Grid which teaches storytelling skills to writers. As someone who has spent most of her career creating education content for adult learners, I really appreciate the way they breakdown the writing process.

Poll & Prompt: Why do you read fiction?

Journal Prompt:

Think about a moment when you deeply wanted to be seen or understood. What did you hope others would notice or acknowledge about you, and what does that desire reveal about your truest self? How can you honor that part of yourself, even if it isn’t fully recognized by others?

Warmly,
Jennifer