Hi, happy Sunday!

Going forward, you can expect to find a fresh Rekindle in your inbox on Sundays at about this time.

This week’s letter has a strong theme of tension. So if you’re battling inside your head about something, or torn in multiple directions, read on!

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👋 Welcome to the 28 new Kindlers who joined this week!

Spark of Inspiration: A thought, quote, or creative work to get your creative energy flowing.

Today’s spark: "The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity." - Carl Jung

Phew! Does this quote get to the heart of the tension of being a creative/producing creative work for you, like it does for me? All week, I’ve been battling with this desire for Rekindle to feel like play, but at the same time trying to make sure it “works.” You might notice, this week’s letter has much more structure to it than my welcome letter did. Do you like it?

“Acting from inner necessity” is definitely the energy that has led to the creation of Rekindle. But now that it’s out here in the world, I feel a little exposed, unsure, insecure, blah blah blah, which takes away from the feeling of play. See the poetry section below for more!

I’m going to work through those feelings until writing, publishing, and inviting others to join feels playful, as I know it will once I get into a rhythm. I’ve been here before, and this is usually the worst part of the journey.  🤞

Poetry Aflame: Snippets of my poetry practice capturing bright and lively personal reflections.

Preamble: I am experiencing intense feelings now that I’ve started Rekindle. As I shared in my first letter, I felt called to create Rekindle. The idea was life-giving and energetic. But now, one week in, I feel caught in a dichotomy (hopefully it’s a false one!) where it seems I can either have inspired, creative energy or I can produce creative work. But I can’t have both at the same time.

The vision and creative drive to start Rekindle came to me when I was putting time and energy into self-care (reading, journaling, meditating, exercising). I had a compulsion to act on it even though there were so many warning signs that I didn’t have the resources to add this commitment to my life right now! This life stage as a working mom to two young kids is crazy.

And now, as all the warning signs alluded to, the constraints on my time have become my worst enemy. To write this, I pull from the short amount of time that had gone towards self-care acts, which was the fuel for my creativity. So I have this nagging fear: what if I can’t sustain this and burn out again?

Then, ironically, it was upon waking up in a foggy haze after falling asleep in my son’s bed at bedtime, that I found a metaphor that captures this feeling. I turned it into my poetry for this letter.

Drag Line

The creative draw is like holding on to a drag line off the back of a sailboat,
That cool, smooth feeling of being pulled steadily along through the water—
Utterly refreshing.

But how quickly the sea changes off the shore.
Roiling waves push me in who knows what direction, I’ve lost my line of sight.
I’m holding on to the drag line but it’s all slack now.

I fight the waves, kicking and gasping.
Just need to get to the other side — of what? I don’t know.
I fight because I believe it will be smoother out there, somewhere.
But maybe this is wishful thinking.

Maybe the fighting isn’t supporting survival, rather the pathway to my demise,
Like a panicked swimmer caught in a riptide,
Worn down until they drown.

Am I supposed to flow with this tumult?
Trust it to carry me down the shoreline?
Is it possible that the slack in the rope will pick back up?
That after all, the current didn’t take me off course but was the course?
That the slack was not from abandonment, but from being closest to my Source when it’s most chaotic?

Lay on your back and float. Breathe.

Now let me speak straight: I found working through this tension in poetic metaphor comforting. However, don’t be fooled into thinking I know how to lay on my back and float amidst my life’s current chaos and demands. I’m still in fighting the waves mode.

However, the hope in this poem rings true to me. I have a notion that it is important to create art now, during the chaos. A belief that doing so will help me to capture something different, that will be more honest, helpful and resonate with others. Being a mom to little ones and having a full-time job, I crave more stories, songs, op-eds, etc., from other moms who are in it—not just reflecting back on it. It’s like I need them to help make sense of my own experience and feelings and, sometimes, to help me feel justified in my decisions. Rekindle is my contribution to the dialogue for those curious about or strongly desiring to make space for their creativity when it just doesn’t seem feasible.

Whispers in the Ashes: A prompt to aid in the search for meaning or beauty among the remnants or aftermath of intense experiences.

Today’s whisper: Rather than running away from the tension you’re feeling, try to get closer to it. Feel it, describe it, name it. Sit with it and work to understand it as precisely as possible. Then write about it, or express the energy it brings up in any way that feels right.

You might just find that it heals some of the tension and inspires new ideas at the same time!

Perspectives Alight: Illuminate us with your perspective by responding to the poll question!