Choose yourself first

The Bookmarks

• Why should you choose yourself?

• We choose ourselves by taking action

  • 1. Action Comes Before Confidence

  • 2. Small Steps Count More Than Big Intentions

  • 3. Done Is Better Than Perfect

  • 4. Bet on Yourself Before Anyone Else Does

• 3 Daily Habits

• 4 Weekly Habits

• Poll & Prompt: How do you respond to decisions?

Why should you choose yourself?

Because if you don’t, who/what else are you choosing instead?

• fitting in?

• staying status quo?

• following the path of least resistance?

• someone else’s idea of who you should be?

• a sense of security?

I ask myself this all the time: “What is luring me away from choosing myself?”

And most of the time (embarrassingly) it’s fitting in and staying status quo. It is so deeply ingrained in me that safety and acceptance comes from fitting in rather than standing out. My brain thinks I am a zebra out on the savannah needing to blend in with all the other stripes.

But here’s the thing—fitting in just keeps you invisible. And not living up to your potential. When I contrast that to living an engaged, creative and purposeful life it’s a no brainer.

So I choose myself by putting myself out there. Mostly in small ways, but occasionally in big ways, too.

For example, several years ago when I decided to write my first book I chose myself in small ways such as:

• telling people that I was writing a book

• making time on the calendar to write

• starting an email list to share updates

• choosing to self-publish instead of getting bogged down in the process of finding an agent/publisher

Then, I chose myself in some big ways too:

• launching (and successfully funding) a Kickstarter to raise $14k that I used as my marketing campaign

• using new social media tactics (live streaming at the time) to get my message in front of more people

• submitting my book to Publisher’s Weekly self-published book reviews department (which averaged ~10k submissions/review cycle at the time) and earning an official review

Writing and publishing that book was the most vulnerable thing I’d done up to that point. And even though I have distanced myself from the content of the book, I am forever grateful for what I learned through the process of writing, publishing and launching it.

It gave me confidence in myself that I can figure out anything. That I can push through deep, deep discomfort and come out on the other side better for it.

We choose ourselves by taking action

We grow up learning that opportunities come to those who are talented, hardworking, and deserving. But in reality, opportunities come to those who show up, take action, and signal to the world that they are ready.

If you wait for someone else to choose you—to validate your worth, to offer you the perfect opportunity, or to give you permission—you might be waiting forever. Not because you’re not good enough, but because choosing yourself is the first step to being seen.

1. Action Comes Before Confidence

We often think confidence has to come first—but it doesn’t. Confidence is built through action, so choosing yourself means moving forward even when you don’t feel ready.

👉 Example: You don’t feel like an expert yet but want to become one? Start writing about what you know and lean into your curiosity.

2. Small Steps Count More Than Big Intentions

Big dreams are exciting, but it’s the small, consistent actions that bring them to life. Break down your big dreams into a single action you can take today to make progress.

👉 Example:

• Want to launch a creative business? Send that first email.

• Want to write a book? Commit to one paragraph today.

• Want to get better at self-promotion? Post something small without overthinking it.

3. Done Is Better Than Perfect

Perfectionism is a sneaky way we avoid choosing ourselves. We hold back, waiting until things are "just right." But choosing yourself means letting things be imperfect and putting them into the world anyway.

👉 Example: Instead of waiting for the perfect portfolio website, start showcasing your work as it evolves. Instead of waiting until you have the perfect pitch, send the email and refine as you get feedback.

4. Bet on Yourself Before Anyone Else Does

Unlike in the movies, no one is going to tap you on the shoulder and say, "Now’s your time." Choosing yourself means deciding that your ideas are worth pursuing—without waiting for outside permission.

👉 Example: If you want to be hired for something, don’t wait to be discovered (or “work your way up”). Position yourself for it on LinkedIn, your resume and in conversations. Put your ideas and expertise into the world, so the right people can find you.

I’m choosing myself this week by claiming some clarity over this newsletter and the people I want to serve through it. Calling all creative generalists!

What’s one way you’re choosing yourself this week? I would be thrilled to read your reply!

Warmly,
Jennifer

3 Daily Habits

I didn’t do as much book writing this week, but my journaling was on point! I noticed that turning to my journal to process feelings and thoughts is becoming more natural, which is a huge win.

4 Weekly Habits

Poll & Prompt: How do you respond to decisions?

Journal Prompt:
Think of a time when you didn’t choose yourself—when you hesitated, stayed quiet, or let an opportunity pass by.

• What held you back?

• What were you afraid would happen if you stepped forward?

• Looking back, what might have been possible if you had chosen yourself in that moment?

Now, think about today.

• What is one small way you can choose yourself right now?

• How would it feel to fully step into your own potential without waiting for permission?

❤️